Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Dance with my father again

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

I remember the phone call as though it were yesterday. It was March 9th, 2006, Thursday morning. I was at work. I suddenly felt the urge to call mom’s mobile. So, that I did, call her mobile. Only, mom did not answer the phone. Dad did. He can’t hear my voice but I can hear him very well so I heard he said “Nancy, au orongou, monolipon kaagu”. So I hung up the phone, and thought, maybe call them after work then. After work, I totally forgot to call back. Around 8.15 p.m, my brother Leo called but I ignored, figured that maybe just asking when I’m gonna buy a car etc etc. Then he texted “Muli noh Tambunan, ouruan tapa sumakit”. So, that made me jumped out of bed and called mom. Mom picked up and I asked bout dad whether he’s really sick or what, to my surprised, made me almost faint “He’s not sick anymore, he died few minutes ago while watching TV”. Mom was in panic, she keeps blaming me for not going back to Tambunan often enough to visit. I guess she’s just rambling, she’s alone and dad just died. That was the last time I heard my dad’s voice.

It’s been four years but it didn’t feel like four years. It still feel like a week ago we buried dad, cried our heart out to the thought that he will not be with us anymore. I really miss my dad. I am really grateful to have such a wonderful dad like him. As the days go by, memories fade. I now find it hard to remember what his voice sounds like. I’m having flashes of short clips as I try hard to recall. Eventually, I think I’ll forget lots of details. But, I guess that’s just how life goes, just wished I made right choices back then.

I want to ask all of you reading this blog, what was the last thing you said to your loved ones before you left them today. But GOD forbids, what if you will never speak to them again? A heart attack? An accident? Who knows. You hear of people dying at the age of 25 from heart attack and parents dying in an accident when going to the shop to buy sugar for teatime. What are the last words that you want to live with for the rest of you life?

“I hate you”? “Why can’t you be like other parents”? “Go away!!”? “I wish you were dead”?

One day they are gonna leave us, that's the fact of life. Why don’t you tell them nice things while you still have the time, and the chance. For it will come like a thief in the night and rob them from you. When was the last time you said I love you, you’re the BEST parents in the whole world. Or maybe a thank you, or a good morning dad and mum, followed with I love very much. Some of you may still have the chance. I don’t. I just have my mum. Just a mother and no father. Think about it, make the right choice, tell them you love them today, now …… may just be a phone call away. When life is over there maybe no way to tell them anymore….I wish I still had my dad……..

Lord, just one more day is all I ask

“God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.
Lord, those who die still live in your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family, relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.
In company with Christ, Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.        


Back when I was a child
before life removed all the innocence
my father would lift me high
and dance with my mother and me and then
spin me around til I fell asleep
then up the stairs he would carry me
and I new for sure, I was loved
If I could get
another chance
another walk
another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
how I'd love love love
to dance with my father again
oooo when I and my mother would disagree
to get my way I would run from her to him
he'd make me laugh just to comfort me yeah yeah
then finally make me do just what my momma said
later that night when I was asleep
he left a dollar under my sheet
never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance,
one final step
one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
cause I'd love, love, love, to dance with my father again
sometimes I'd listen outside her door
and I hear how my mother cried for him
I'd pray for her even more than me
I'd pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying
for much to much
but could you send back
the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
but dear lord she's dyin
to dance with my father again
every night I fall asleep
and this is all I ever dream


Danelyn said...

May His Soul Rest In PEace .....

Rungitom said...

I know how you feel... he will always be remembered as long as you pray for him.

無尾熊可愛 said...

thx u very much, i learn a lot

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